How I Became a Christian

Very often one comes across stories of people who clung to God in situations of great distress and by this came to believe in Jesus Christ. For me it was not like this. I had a happy childhood in a good family, and my "life crises" were nothing in comparison to what other people have to go through. I have certainly been gifted richer than most people on this earth. So from a human point of view there was really no reason for me to turn to God. Above all I'm very critical and usually do not believe anything unproved. God knew this, of course, as it had been Him Who had blessed me with all these gifts.

I must mention that I have never been living without what usually is understood by "Christianity". My father is a Catholic, my mother is a member of the Evangelical (Lutheran) Church (both churches are concordat churches in Germany, meaning they are closely connected to the state, especially financially, and therefore depending on it - with all consequences). In the tender age of three weeks I became a member of the Catholic Church. I grew up in the Christian tradition, in which the Catholic teaching played a major role and fascinated me for a while with its pomp. I hardly ever had a personal relationship to God, and Jesus Christ existed for me mainly as the "Christ Child" bringing the presents at Christmas, and as a wooden figure at a cross.

As a child at least I had some kind of idea of God. This was different when I was a teenager. Although I have never been a real atheist, my idea of God was a rather impersonal one. The fact that I couldn't quite believe the evolution theory (which not only at school was *sold* to us as the one and only truth) didn't have to do anything with faith, but with my critical mind. I started to quarrel with the Catholic Church, but mainly because of its "dictatory" character which I detested very much.

At the age of 25 years I left the Catholic Church and joined the Evangelical Church. This was not a big issue, my Catholic baptism was recognized and only the entry on my tax card had to be changed (because of the church tax).

However, during the preparation for joining the Evangelical Church something happened which was the beginning of my "journey" to faith that took several years: the pastor gave me a Bible. Of course we had a Bible at home, but only a translation in “ancient” language which was not exactly inviting. The Bible I received now was written in modern German, and as I thought it was time to get at least a little knowledge on the "subject" I started reading. Despite the modern language many parts were still difficult to understand, and therefore I went into bookshops to look for books about Jesus and Christianity. As I didn't know of the existence of such things as Christian bookstores and Bible study aids I read a lot of rubbish, which was so stupid that my critical mind didn't know what to do with that - and I ended up without any help once again. Also the sermons of the pastors very often didn't tell me anything, as they sounded very non-committal to me.

I took the next huge step forward on one of my shopping weekends in Cologne. For the first time I left the main shopping malls and found myself in a small side street. In this street there was a bookstore, and because I have never been able to resist books I entered - and stood in astonishment! Instead of the books which usually can be found in bookstores, this shop had only Christian books. There I found everything which I had been looking for without even knowing that it existed. I don't remember how much money I spent on that day in this single shop, but I had a huge bag when I left after a long time.

At home I immediately started working with my new Bible study aids and read in my books for many hours. The bookstore in Cologne was the first place I went to on each of my shopping trips - unfortunately it was too far from home to "just go there". Then I read in a Christian magazine about a new Christian bookstore in Münster, the town I studied in at that time. Unfortunately there was no address given and only a very vague direction. Nonetheless I started looking for it, and after walking in a wrong direction only once I found it. Since then I'm an "expert" in finding Christian bookstores. I had the address of another bookstore in a different town - and when I was already on my way I remembered that I had forgotten to look up the place in a city map. So I asked an assistant in another store and he asked: "Where exactly would you like to go?" - which is a rather indiscreet question, of course. Nonetheless I told him, and it turned out that the bookstore had moved. So if I had looked up the address on the city map I would have searched for it on the wrong street. These are the things which happen ;-)

I cannot exactly say when my conversion took place, and it was a process rather than a "boombastic" experience. At some time I was convinced finally that there was only this one way, but the beginning was not easy, especially because I was almost alone with my books. In the year 1995 I became chairwoman of a local group of a pro life organisation - and soon found out that "my" new treasurer was a born-again Christian. He became my first "victim". When we met to discuss our pro life activities we usually talked about the activities for 15 minutes, and for two hours he patiently replied to the many faith questions I had.

Before that I had already prayed for a Bible-based church in our town where I could go without having to leave the Evangelical Church immediately - although it looked very unlikely that such a church would ever exist. In August 2000 it was founded - a church which was perfect for me :)